So I am back! In more ways than one. I am back at work and I am back at making time to write. Yippee!
Its been exactly seven months since I have been at work and I thought that I would dread it far more than I am, I am actually enjoying it so much. Yes its been a week of school, but its as though I haven’t left at all and I am so psyched for work its almost weird.
Amelia-Rose has adapted very well to me not being with her every hour of the day and once again I find myself being so grateful to God for allowing me to find Lindi. Lindi is really an angel and there is no doubt in my mind that Amelia-Rose as well as Eli, would gladly agree.
I am still breastfeeding and I really thought that I would have stopped by now. I remember how with my Eli, I only breastfed him for 14 weeks, and so came along Amelia-Rose and I gave myself till she turns six months and well I did it. I almost exclusively breastfed her for half a year (A few formula feeds in between.) Yeah me! Next Sunday my little girl turns seven months and I am finding it to very difficult to wean her off me. More because I am missing her and less because she won’t cope without me. Aah the mother’s struggles never cease.
Many would suggest for me just to continue for as long as I can, but for me it’s just not as practical as I imagined it to be. Firstly I am a teacher. I high-school teacher, who hardly has time to eat a decent meal during the 20 minute and 10 minute breaks made available to us. Coupled with that is the fact that my “free-lessons”are never at the same time each day and so expressing is just not practical for me. I honestly salute the mothers who do express at work. I have tried and it just isn’t working for me.
Should I feel guilty? No! I have learnt in these last few months that I do the best I can do and that’s all I need to do as a mother. I am not less a mom for wanting to wean her baby off the breast. I just need to begin to focus on whats best for me as a woman. A happy me, ultimately then means happy children.
I miss my baby so much but I cannot lie and I am not very happy to have come back to work now. It’s been a very good maternity. I am so very grateful for the time I spent with my baby and my toddler. I have learnt so much about myself from being with them and now I am truly ready to be an adult again. Hehehe #adulting